Well, here we are, boys and girls. If you’re a Twitaholic, then you should know by now that your days are numbered. Soon, it will be a cold room in rehab, fingers twitching for any keyboard or keypad, while you recover from your addiction. Why?
Because Twitter is now on Oprah and that means that the social networking phenomenon is about to go Soccer Mom. Yep. Twitter will soon change its name to “Twitamom” or “Tweetalicious” or some other Baskin & Robbins name. Don’t be surprised when the new Onstar has Twitter functionality.
Am I exaggerating? Have I made too much of the Oprah on Twitter phenomenon?
Well, her first message says it all, folks. I’m sure she had multiple writers knocking heads while they came up with this brilliant, sub-140 message: “HI TWITTERS. THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21ST CENTURY.” Those are her caps, not mine.
Now take that piece of literary prose and couple it with this other little fact: at the time of this writing, she’s only been tweeting for 3 hours and she’s already got 113,000 followers. Eat that, Ashton Kutcher!
So now that Twitter is dead, CEO Evan Williams has hit rock star status, and the company watches itself balloon out of control…what do we do now? Twitter has no business model, no income stream, and is already busting at the seams.
If you were online Wednesday for the big TEA Party protests—many of which appeared to be taking place on Twitter—you know that the system is at its breaking point. Many Tweet feeds were almost half an hour behind. Others literally stopped working entirely for several minutes.
Well, now you’ve got every jobless soccer mom in America signing up for Twitter too. A lot of them have iPhones as well, so expect them to start sending each other messages that are even more banal than the ones already flooding the Tweet stream.
“Oh, isn’t little Joey so big? You’re a big boy, Joey! YAY!”
“q35oaovohaseyh – that is from my 2 year old, isn’t she smart!”
“i am sendng u ths from my cell. How conexted!”
Somebody please prove to me that all is not lost. I’m about to take a sledgehammer to my notebook!