Ever since I made the switch a year or so ago from a PC to a Mac, I find I have tons of extra time during startup. I’m spending far less time battling the blue screen from hell, executing system restores and going through a black hole of a boot-up process. I mean my iMac actually just turns right on, like it is magical or something. So now I find myself with all this extra time during the day since my computer didn’t take the 10 minutes it used to.
In fact, I’m saving so much time with my new Mac that I plan on doing the following with all my newfound spare time:
1) Write hate mail to smug Mac spokesman / “Daily Show” contributor John Hodgman
2) Sew my Conficker virus Halloween costume
3) Finally watch “The Wizard of Oz” cued up in synch with Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon.”
4) Figure out the difference between a Sunni and Shiite.
5) Find my high school girlfriend on Facebook. Decide not to request her as a friend after remembering her affinity for “Winnie the Pooh” apparel.
6) Upload all my kick-ass “Guitar Hero” video performances to YouTube. Then wait for it to go viral.
7) Tweet that pic of a guy I saw at Applebee’s who looked just like Joss Whedon.
8) Cancel gym membership.
9) Pen “Howard the Duck” fan fiction.
10) Sell my new paperweight on eBay… a paperweight that looks suspiciously like a PC.